ABA Therapy Pros and Cons: What Every Parent Should Know Before Starting

The #1 Mistake Parents Make When Choosing ABA (and How to Avoid It)

You want to do the right thing. That’s what it comes down to, isn’t it?

An autism diagnosis can feel like your world turning upside down, and every decision weighing on you feels like it's tied to your child's future. The importance of early intervention and the use of ABA therapy seem to be plastered throughout conversations with family and friends.

So, you go on the internet to do some digging.

Then boom, you have that sinking feeling in your stomach. One headline claims it’s

revolutionary. The other says it’s deeply troubling. One mom supports it heavily. The other claims they regret doing it. How on earth are you meant to come to a reasonable conclusion when it's all over the place?

Don’t worry; I’m ready to help sift out the real information. I'll break down in clear terms, with no frills, the real advantages and disadvantages of ABA therapy from this parent's perspective. No technical terms. No fear-based claims. Just a straightforward assessment of what ABA is and is not and how to determine if it fits your family’s needs.

Because you deserve to make this decision with confidence. And your child deserves support that truly works for them.

Child ABA Therapy Pros and Cons Summary (At a Glance)

Pros:

• Backed by decades of research

• Teaches real-life, functional skills

• Individualized for each child

• Actively includes parents

• Tracks measurable progress

Cons:

• Quality varies greatly by provider

• Can be time- and energy-intensive

• Some programs still focus on outdated goals

• Progress may feel slow at times

• Can be expensive and difficult to access

  
  

What Is ABA Therapy?

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a systematic way to explain behavior: the reasons behind the behavior, how it is maintained, and how it can be modified. ABA therapy focuses on enhancing particular behaviors using step-by-step methods and encouraging praise. It has been very successful in aiding children with autism spectrum disorder in learning important interactions and communication skills. The therapy is very tailored, which means it is bespoke to every individual in regard to their needs and aims.

In the context of autism therapy, ABA is often used to:

• Teach communication and social skills

• Reduce unsafe or interfering behaviors

• Build independence in daily routines

• Support emotional regulation

Good ABA therapy is highly individualized. It’s supervised by a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) and often implemented by Registered Behavior Technicians (RBTs). Sessions may take place in your home, daycare, or school setting. But not all ABA looks the same—and that’s where it gets complicated.

➡️ Let’s look deeper at the pros and cons so you can move forward with clarity.

The Pros of ABA Therapy

1. Backed by Research, Not Guesswork

ABA is the most studied therapy for autism. There are decades of data showing that, when implemented well, it can lead to meaningful improvements in:

• Communication

• Social engagement

• Daily living skills

• Learning readiness

This isn’t just anecdotal 👉🏼 it’s been tested, refined, and validated over time.

Why it matters: You’re not just hoping it helps. You can track real outcomes, not just hope for the best.

2. It Focuses on Real-World Skills That Matter

Forget memorizing flashcards or robotic drills (those are outdated). Modern ABA therapy

should help your child do things like:

• Ask for help

• Handle transitions

• Brush their teeth

• Play appropriately with others

• Use coping strategies when overwhelmed

These aren’t abstract goals—they’re practical skills that can ease daily struggles for both you and your child.

3. Each Program Is Designed to the Child

A quality ABA program isn’t a one-size-fits-all checklist. It’s designed with your child’s individual needs, strengths, and interests in mind. This might look like:

• Building a plan around your child’s love of dinosaurs or puzzles

• Adjusting teaching methods to match their learning style

• Setting goals that reflect your family’s priorities

When done right, ABA meets your child where they are—not where a textbook says they should be.

4. You’re Not Left on the Sidelines

One of the most underrated parts of ABA is that you’re part of the process.

Great BCBAs won’t just work with your child—they’ll train and support you as well. You’ll learn strategies to:

• Reduce tantrums

• Encourage communication

• Create smoother routines at home

• Respond with confidence during challenging moments

You shouldn’t need a degree in behavioral science to help your child. ABA, when collaborative, helps you feel empowered instead of overwhelmed.

5. Progress Is Measured, Not Assumed

How many therapies can show you data on whether something is working?

With ABA, you can:

• See visual trends of your child’s progress

• Identify patterns in behavior

• Adjust the plan quickly when something’s not effective

And yes, that progress may be slow or subtle at times—but it’s never invisible. You’ll actually know what’s working.

The Cons of ABA Therapy

1. Not All ABA Is Created Equal

This is one of the biggest drawbacks of ABA therapy that most parents aren’t warned about.

The quality of care can vary drastically depending on the provider. Some teams are exceptional—compassionate, consistent, and skilled. Others are undertrained, rigid, or stuck in outdated methods that don’t reflect best practices.

🚩 Red flags to watch for:

• High staff turnover

• Lack of meaningful parent involvement

• A checklist-style approach with the same goals for every child

• Focus on compliance rather than connection or communication

This is also the reason why lots of people online have controversial opinions regarding ABA therapy. The science, in and of itself, is not harmful. It is the way it is conveyed that is most important. Unfortunately, many parents believe that all forms of ABA therapy are alike. This is the gap that we are hoping to fill.

2. It Can Take Over Your Life (If You Let It)

Some programs recommend 20–40 hours per week of ABA therapy, especially in early intervention. While that level of intensity may be helpful for some children, it’s not a universal rule—and it’s not always sustainable.

Too many hours can lead to burnout—not just for the child, but for the whole family.

It’s important to ask, “Is ABA therapy right for my child at this intensity?” and “How many hours of ABA therapy does my child need?”

Consider their personality, tolerance, energy, and how the schedule fits into your life.

More hours isn’t always better—it has to be purposeful and realistic.

3. Some Approaches Are Still Stuck in the Past

Sadly, some providers still use outdated approaches aimed at making children appear more “typical”—rather than helping them communicate, self-regulate, and thrive as they are.

These may include:

• Discouraging stimming

• Forcing eye contact

• Prioritizing surface-level behaviors over genuine skill-building

That’s not what modern, ethical ABA looks like.

Today’s leading providers focus on:

• Honoring neurodiversity

• Teaching self-advocacy and coping strategies

• Building trust and emotional safety

• Fostering meaningful, long-term growth

You’re allowed and encouraged to ask questions about values, consent, and philosophy. If a provider can’t answer those confidently, it may be a sign to keep looking.

4. Progress Isn’t Always Fast (or Linear)

Some kids make incredible gains quickly. Others move more slowly. Sometimes progress feels like two steps forward, one step back. 

That’s not a failure—it’s human. But it can feel frustrating when you’re doing all the right things and not seeing immediate results. Especially when you’re emotionally invested and financially stretched.

ABA is a long game. Behavior change takes time, and each child’s timeline is different. Give yourself permission to celebrate small wins—even when the big milestones feel far away.

5. It Can Be Expensive and Hard to Access

Let’s be honest: ABA therapy can be difficult to access and expensive, even with insurance.

You might run into:

• Long waitlists with in-network providers

• Limited availability of skilled BCBAs

• Insurance hurdles, denials, or coverage caps

• High co-pays or deductibles that add up fast

Some families spend months waiting just to get started.

That’s why many parents turn to private, out-of-network providers—especially those who offer BCBA-only care, like we do. While it may not be covered the same way by insurance, it often means:

• Faster access to services

• Higher-quality, consistent care

• Direct collaboration with credentialed professionals (not a rotating cast of new faces)

Tip: Ask potential providers if they offer insurance reimbursement support, superbills, or flexible scheduling to make things more manageable while staying out-of-network.

Is ABA Therapy Right for My Child?

5 Key Questions to Ask Yourself

The first thing you should know about ABA therapy is that it is not just one single thing. There are multiple methodologies, practitioners, and schools of thought within It. This can create a confusing situation when making decisions. You are not simply asking if it works, rather how it is structured in relationship with your child, your family, your beliefs, and your lifestyle.

Here are five essential questions to help you figure out if the benefits of ABA therapy outweigh the potential drawbacks of ABA therapy for your family:

1. Do I feel comfortable with the provider’s values and approach?

2. Are they listening to my goals as a parent—not just pushing their own agenda?

3. Does my child feel safe, seen, and supported during sessions?

4. Is progress being tracked in a way I can understand and talk about?

5.  Are we working toward goals that actually improve my child’s quality of life?

If you’re unsure about any of these, that’s okay. Asking “Is ABA therapy right for my child?” is a deeply personal process—and just because one version of ABA doesn’t feel right doesn’t mean the entire therapy should be ruled out.

Many of the concerns you’ve read about in the ABA therapy controversy are based on outdated or low-quality practices. The key is finding a provider who uses modern, neurodiversity-affirming methods and truly partners with you in the process.

Imagine…

You’re in the kitchen, and your child walks in, tugging on your sleeve.

Instead of screaming or hitting, they sign or say, “Snack?”

You pause.

Not because it’s shocking, but because it’s finally becoming normal.

That’s what meaningful therapy looks like: small, powerful moments of connection.

It’s not about forcing change. It’s about building bridges between your child and the world around them—at their pace, with support that makes sense.

Finding Peace in Your Decision

Every type of intervention has its advantages and disadvantages, and ABA is no exception. But at the end of the day, you do not have to be flawless. What is important, though, is that you deeply care, and from the looks of it, you are caring by taking your time to read this. Selecting a particular therapy for a child is an incredibly personal choice to make in someone’s life. But remember, you are not in this all by yourself.

Ready for ABA Support That Actually Fits Your Family?

We are ready to help you navigate the chaos, avoid the long waitlists for ABA support, and get in touch with BCBAs who are genuinely interested in your child's development and care.

Sign up for the Next Steps Plan and get the help of someone who has walked your path before or ask us whatever question you have. We promise that we actually care and will pay attention.

P.S. If you know a parent who is grappling with the same decision, feel free to pass along this blog. One share truly could change everything.